


Gluing the pieces back together

by Theangelhasthephonebox



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abused Dean Winchester, Age Play Little Dean Winchester, Alcoholic John Winchester, Alternate Universe - High School, BAMF Charlie Bradbury, Bad Parent John Winchester, Castiel is a Colt, Castiel is a psychologist, Classifications, Littles Are Known, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, On Hiatus, Sam is a Colt, Sam is a lawyer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:54:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 22,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22459081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theangelhasthephonebox/pseuds/Theangelhasthephonebox
Summary: This was created from a snippet posted in my splatter board. After Mary died John fell deep into the bottle. During this time he meets Kate, who doesn't really like Dean. Dean was kicked out of his home when he was just about to start high school due to his now useless status of older brother. Now three years later he's being tested for his classification. He did not know what he was going to become but he prayed that whatever it was...would get him off the streets and in a better place. Classified as a little, Dean's now faced with a whole new world that's terrifying and even more scary with John's voice in the back of his head. Dean's Papa and Dada trying to put the pieces back together for their little boy while giving him everything he could ever want. But things are not what they always seem...most especially for the Colt family.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 27
Kudos: 165





	1. The first meeting

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for the swearing but it is only going to be present in a few chapters mainly the first one and possibly one more time when Charlie is reintroduced and if I have John appear.

“Get the fuck out of my house! Maybe I’ll be lucky to hear about your death, you whore!” John Winchester screamed at the shaking, green-eyed boy. Tears welled up as the words cut deeper than anything else could but they did not fall. Turning on his heel Dean Winchester left the only house he had known reminding himself  _ Don’t cry, Don’t cry _ .  _ Big boys don’t cry!  _

Dean felt more than betrayed. He had always thought this would never have happened if Mary, his mother, had not died when he was five. If Mary was alive he would not be like this. If Mary did not die John would not have fallen deep into a bottle, that he had not climbed out of. If Mary had not died...John would not have married that witch.

The new stepmother had been in his life, not even a year after Mary’s death. Five years of hell with that woman, cleaning, dealing with abuse on both sides and then she was pregnant. Pregnant with another son...the perfect son. The one that John took with him to baseball games, ate meals with and went to see his sports. While Dean was pushed even more to the side, nothing more than a punching bag and now nothing.

He was starting high school tomorrow and all he had to his name was a few dollars, the clothes on his back and a small bag filled with simple life luxuries like paper and pencils. Dean had no idea what he was going to do. He did not have enough money to stay somewhere and he could not go to a shelter cause they would ask too many questions.

Kicking a stone as he contemplated what little choices he had. Dean made his decision. He only had to find a place to live until he was sixteen then they had the testing. Getting housing with a classification was not that hard. Unless he was a submissive form...then he would have a whole other list of problems. At least for tonight he could go and ask his best friend if he could crash with her. 

“Hey, fucker! What’s up?” Charlie’s voice cut through the slight haze that had fallen over his mind as he tried to think of what to do after this.

“Nothing more than Dad’s an absolute prick and I need a place to crash at least for tonight.” Dean leaned heavily against the buzzers frame. Charlie was amazing and would always help him out but she was in a situation herself. Her parents were great people but now she was like him. Alone in the world and so long as she had never seen the side of John that Dean had then she was safe.

“Oh, damn. Yeah, I’ll buzz you in.” Charlie called out as he heard the high pitched buzz come through. 

“I’m not in the mood to talk. I just want to sleep. I’ll figure it out tomorrow morning after first class.” Dean told her quickly as he shuffled past and threw his bag down next to the couch. She just nodded and mumbled something about him making himself at home.

The next morning, Dean was not surprised to hear that he had to meet with the damn school shrink. Ever since his mother died this was the norm. They wanted to make sure he was “adjusting well”. The office was...different. Instead of the normal posters hung up talking about hanging in there, mental health awareness and the warning signs of a panic attack. There was calming paintings, a few framed quotes and lastly a single framed picture of Mr. Colt and a man. 

“So Dean, do you mind if I call you Dean? Do you know why you were called down here?” Mr. Colt asked his blue eyes seemed to pierce into Dean’s soul. He was exhausted, contemplating what he was going to do with his life after all of today. Where he was going to stay.

“No, I don’t mind at this point. Yeah ’course, I do. Every time I start at a new school you all want to know if I am okay after witnessing my mother’s death. She’s been dead for almost ten years, Mr. Colt. Can’t we just leave her buried?” Dean asked a yawn almost breaking past his chapped lips.

“You are correct Dean. We have a policy to check in with students that have seen tragedies but I wanted to ask you about your home life in general. There are notes about your father drinking and that he married another not long after her death.” Mr. Colt had seemed surprised but he was worried about Dean in a different way than everyone else.

“I don’t talk about my home life. Yeah, it is difficult but isn’t everyone’s? I’m sure you had a hard childhood.” Dean looked him straight in the eye and that’s when something seemed to change before his eyes.

“You are right Dean. My childhood was hard, my parents were very religious but split when I was younger. My older siblings helped my dad raised me and my younger sisters. When I came out as gay it took a lot for my family to accept me. But if I never came out to them I would have never met my wonderful husband or be here, trying to help you. It was because I spoke with my school psychologists that’s why I’m trying to help you. Sometimes it takes one person to help.” Mr. Colt’s hands moved while he was talking.

Dean was taken aback, never...not once has a shrink told him the truth about themselves. He felt compelled to tell something and it was with a deep breath that he spoke. “Dad was always a bit of a drunk. Mom use to try her best to keep him from drinking but you know cravings. It was the worst after momm..died. He just seemed to pick up a bottle and not put it down. Dad went on a bender one night leaving me alone for a few days. 

Nothing unusual at that time but when he came stumbling back in...he had Kate on his arm. That...that woman decided to walk in on our lives when we were our most vulnerable. Dad left me for that...that…”

Dean was choking back tears. He’s never told anyone what happened all those years ago. What brought Kate and Adam into his life and what destroyed his own. Not even Charlie knew what happened all those long nights ago.

“You’re doing great Dean. You don’t need to tell me everything. If you feel that I can help you with anything or if you feel that you just need to finally tell someone I will always have my door open for you.” Mr. Colt calmed him. Offering a handkerchief instead of a tissue, Dean took it and swiped at nothing but crumpled it slightly as he finally let out something more important.

“I don’t know where I am going after classes today. Dad kicked me out yesterday and no matter how much I try he won’t let me back. My friend let me stay with her last night but they can’t let me stay for much longer. Is there anywhere I can go before I get my classification, sir? I just need a place to sleep. Not to study or anything like that ...I also need to get a job cause there’s no way I’m going to be able to pay for more clothes without money.” 

“Alright Dean, I’m gonna make some calls for you and at the end of the day come and see me. I should be able to get you a room in a local shelter. Don’t worry this one is run by one of my siblings and she does not allow kids to live on the streets. I’ll also contact my husband and see if he can get your father to sign off on emancipation papers this will open some more avenues for you.” Mr. Colt explained. Dean felt like a million pounds had been lifted off his shoulders. Mr. Colt was amazing.

After leaving the school with the papers and directions Dean made his way to his new home. Mr. Colt told him that his sister, Chameul was expecting him and she would see to everything. Chameul loved children and had dedicated her life to helping those that were less fortunate. 

“Dean, good you are here. Please come here.” Dean was taken aback he was expecting another pale, dark-haired, blue-eyed replica of Mr. Colt instead she was dark-skinned and just beautiful.

Dean stepped closer to the woman as she beckoned him over. He stiffened a bit when the arm draped around his shoulders and pulled him closer to her. His nose was filled with a soft perfume that he could not place. It was not floral or heavy but it matched her beauty.

“Cassy told me that you were a special case so I made up a room in the main house. There are four others most are halfway but the main house is almost as if you are adopted into the family. You will have a list of chores, rules and meals mainly breakfast and dinner are served at the same time. If you miss a meal you have to come and tell me. Lunch will be bagged unless there is something special going on that you don’t want to miss out.

Breaking a rule means that there are consequences but stepping up and helping out more means rewards. I know it is a bit childish but I do have a rewards chart. This house currently only has two other children. Kevin Tran and Meg Masters, they are both...different in regards to personality. Kevin is very focused on learning but is high strung. He lived with his mother for years and when she passed suddenly he ended up here. Meg is...a troublemaker. She will try going through your stuff and stealing anything she finds value in. She is not allowed to use sharp objects. Also, don’t ask about her past she does not talk about it.” 

Dean felt like his head was spinning as he took in all the information. Chamuel just smiled and told him that remembering all of this is not important. She guided him towards the house and showed him some of the house. Pointing out areas that they would commonly be in then she took him upstairs. Each door was painted white except for three of them. 

“This room is Meg’s. She’ll ignore you if you knock...most likely turn her music up too. This blue door leads to Kevin’s room. If you knock he will be there before you even raise your fist. That last room on the end is mine. Right here is your room. Castiel suggested you have a room farther away from Meg. I try keeping those that are here closer to my room if there’s an issue.”

Dean was stunned when he saw the room. Though it was still white, and would probably stay that way, there was a lofted bed, a desk, and his bathroom. Fighting back his excitement and tears at seeing this much just for him. Dean thanked her.

"It's nothing, Dean. I think I'll leave you to get settled and then we can talk about those papers with a snack in about 20 minutes? In the kitchen."

Chameul seemed to know that Dean needed a minute or two to himself. Taking the time to put away his few possessions. Gently placing his mother’s favorite book, his only slightly scorched picture of her since the fire and a journal of hers into his top drawer. Covered by his school notebooks, binders, and books. Grabbing a hot shower sounded like a good idea but he did not know how long he wanted to stay under that water. 

“Dean, how do you feel about being your own guardian?” Chameul asked him. Dean could not answer immediatly but he also had a feeling that he knew what he should say. Instead of answering though he stared down at his food. A simple pb and j sandwich, cup of milk and a few slices of apple. He felt himself nodding though.

“Good alright. Next, we have to talk about those papers and classification possibilities and what happens after the tests.” Dean felt himself stiffening at the thought of it. 


	2. Second Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time skip! about 3 years. There are going to be flashbacks to the previous years but most of it will be based directly after this chapter.

Dean’s feet felt as if they were cemented to the floor if he tried to move he feared an abyss would open and eat him alive. Barely noticing the line getting smaller and smaller in front of him as more students got called back. He was so lost in the fear of movement that he almost did not hear his name being called.

“Dean Winchester!” A snotty receptionist called out and Dean slowly shuffled his feet into the room. Seated before him was the school nurse and psychiatrist and the correct government official for this test. The test for classifications. 

“Good afternoon Mr. Winchester I am Mr. John Lawrence here to administer the classification test. Ms. Cross, please administer the physical part of the test.” The government official stated. 

“Dean can you please take off all your clothing bar any undergarments you have on.” Ms. Cross spoke in a gentle and soft voice. Dean did as asked as best as he could without embarrassing himself thankfully he was only wearing one layer of clothing today. He crossed his hands over his private area though he was wearing boxers over it.  _ I ain’t letting no lady see my junk. Plus I’m not a worthless whore like dad says. I’m not.  _

Ms. Cross was surprised. Under all that clothing was such a small boy. It was not the first time she had seen the boy, she knew he was shorter than the rest of his family by a lot but this. This looked like he had not eaten in weeks. Nor seemed like he had grown since he was Another few measurements were taken and then the questions started. 

“Dean have you ever had any broken bones?” Ms. Cross asked in her motherly voice though she knew the answer. It was standard, helped them determine if they needed to intervene with a placement later.

“Yes, both arms, few ribs, and my leg,” Dean told her softly.

“Have you ever had any major surgery?” The questions continued.

“No.” Dean flinched the tiniest bit thinking about that.  _ No, I have not had any major surgeries but I’ve been threatened with them enough. _

“Any sexual intercourse.” Dean could not bring himself to say a word so he just shook his head no.  _ Ew no no no I would not do that ever...besides dad’s already convinced most of the town I’m some slut.  _ This took Ms. Cross and Mr. Colt aback because they had all assumed he had at least one girlfriend he had sex with. 

“Okay, Ms. Cross can you go on standby. Mr. Colt, please continue with the test.” Mr. Lawrence told them softly not wanting to break the slight spell on the room. Dean was the fast one they had today. Others would be refusing to talk or did not want to out their activities. To Dean though the world felt like it had stopped and each minute was an hour. 

“What is your full name?” Mr. Colt double-checked his papers as he felt bad for having to start with basic information he knew.

“Dean Michael Winchester.”

“Age and sex.”

“Sixteen and male.”

“Good Dean. You’re doing a great job just a few more questions. Can you tell me what color this is?” Dean blushed slightly at the praise but answered readily. Mr. Colt had wanted to see what the boy’s reaction would be to some praise and he was rewarded with even more. “Good job. Now this one?” Mr. Colt waited for Dean to answer and praised him every so often. They moved on to inkblots that Dean claimed looked like some odd things. Once even claiming one looked like a clown juggling cats. Mr. Colt had to bite his tongue from laughing at the interpretations. He remembered when he had answered them as a teen, Dean’s were the most interesting he’s ever heard. 

“Alright, we’re almost done Dean just one more question.” Mr. Colt assured Dean, "This next one is going to be a little different I'm gonna he you close your eyes and focus. A few other teachers are gonna step in for a second. If you feel yourself drawn to someone point to them. If you don't that's alright plenty of people never feel the pull." Mr. Colt explained more than he normally would as he saw a flicker of fear in the boy’s eyes.

Nodding his head, Dean closed his eyes and waited.  _ Mr. Colt said it will feel like someone’s pulling me towards them...but I don’t feel that!  _ Dean was panicking should he just chose someone at random or should he just stay still? It was during his panic that he felt..something different. The feel was as if someone had wrapped him in a warm blanket and pulled him close to them. Comfort, safety and his panic was easing out of his body as his shaky finger rose to point.

Castiel Colt felt his heart stop. He could feel the fear pouring off the boy and instincts told him to comfort the boy but he could not. It would interfere with the test but..Dean was working himself up to a panic attack stage if he did not do something and fast. He did not even know he had done it until he saw Dean’s body seem to sag in relief and then the finger-pointing at him. Castiel was not even sure what he had done at this point but he was so glad he did. This was different from all the other times littles and caretakers had pointed at him. It felt like a piece of himself was clicking into place. But Castiel ignored it shoving it down and focused on the rest of the test. 

“Good job, Dean. You can open your eyes now.” Mr. Lawerence had seen it all. He knew that he had to give these two a little push though. Taking a deep breath he worked out of himself the declaration as much as it hurts to break this young man’s heart. The kid had wanted to be anything but this and he had known it. “I, John Clarence Lawerence, declare thee, Dean Michael Winchester, are classified as a little. Mr. Colt? Is there any notes within his file in regards to placement after classification?”

“John Winchester has noted that if his oldest...son was classified that he was to be removed immediately from his care.“ Castiel felt his heartbreak a little bit after reading that. None should ever do that to their children. Then again Castiel was one of the few who had been told about Dean’s past and had even had a few meetings with the kid.

“Hmmm..we’ll be needing to search through the local caretakers and see if we can find any that Dean agrees with. Ms. Cross, can you please assist Dean to the infirmary while we finish up the testing? I’ll send Mr. Colt along soon to help with getting him settled and for an age test.” Nodding along with the instructions Ms. Cross gently guided Dean out of the room. Missing the mostly hidden look of heartbreak in the kid’s eyes.

Castiel found himself distracted throughout most of the last kid’s classification. All he could see before him was a pair of broken, scared and tearful green eyes. When he was sent to the infirmary he decided to stop and call his husband. He knew that there was a possibility that Dean would not want them but he was willing to take that chance.

“Hey baby what’s wrong?” Castiel felt his heart skip a beat once more as soon as he heard that wonderful voice. He loved his husband more than anyone else could understand and he always went to Sam whenever he was confused about a situation.

“Why do you always ask what’s wrong, Sam? Maybe I just wanted to hear your voice.” Castiel was always asked this but that was because he never called Sam when he was at work.

“Uh-huh, and I am now the queen of the gays. What’s going on Cassy?” A snicker followed after that question and Castiel could not help but glare into his cell while he tried to consider how he wanted to tell Sam.

“Remember how I told you that today was classification day at my high school?” He did not even wait for the answer just decided to keep going. “The testing went like normal but do you remember that boy I told you about? The one that had a really bad home life?”

“Yeah of course Cas. Is everything alright with him? You sound almost frantic.” Sam reminded him to calm himself. Taking a deep breath and focusing on his center, Castiel thought out how he would tell Sam.

“Okay...you’re right I am just trying to gather myself. Dean was the second to last to get tested and normal procedures. Everything was leaning towards little. Creative imagination, short stature and all that then we asked him the usual last question.”

“And..? What he did not feel anything?” Castiel could almost see Sam leaning on the edge of his seat.

“He started to panic because he was not feeling drawn just yet. You know how it takes a minute or two. And he was the first one I have ever felt that with. Felt their panic and could almost taste it pouring off of him. So I reached out and calmed him exactly as our pamphlets tell us how to. And he reacted. He calmed down and chose me. When his finger was pointing at me I just felt this sense of completeness like when we meet.”

Sam’s breathing seemed to stop for a second as he took in that information. He had met the boy when he was visiting Chamuel to help her set up the new room and furniture. Never felt what Castiel was talking about but he would need to revisit that first meeting.

“Cassy, if you think that this will be the best option. If you are a hundred percent sure then ask him. Show him our profile along with the others. Allow him to choose us otherwise the law stands with the passed over caretakers.” Castiel found himself nodding and trying to decide what he should do.

“Thank you, Sammy. I love you. Let me know what you want for dinner in about...an hour?” Castiel glanced at his watch. School would be out soon and once they were out Dean would be an unclaimed little. He had to work quickly. Sam’s smile could almost be heard in his reply back of I love you. 

Taking a deep breath Castiel turned and made his way into the infirmary. Hoping that a certain Little would choose him and his husband pushed sluggishly through his veins. As soon as the doors closed behind him he found himself pinned by terrified, teary green eyes.  _ I’m so screwed. _


	3. Decisions

Dean was counting the seconds since he had been left alone with Ms. Cross. He’s known her most of his life but that does not mean he felt comfortable with her. Dean was scared when he noticed that several minutes had passed but still no Mr. Colt.

He trusted Mr. Colt after what they had been through this past three years, Dean had agreed to meet with the man more after that first time. Chameul had pushed him along with Kevin and Meg to seek who they trusted to talk with. She believed that they needed someone to be a barrier to their minds and the rest of the world. 

He was gonna have to tell her and his pseudo siblings that he was a little but he did not want them to assume he was giving them up for his new guardian or whatever they were called. Chameul had told him a long time ago what happens with each one of them once they were classified. These were the rules that the government had not her. 

Thinking about leaving Chameul and his pseudo siblings had him forgetting all about waiting for Mr. Colt. He was so immersed in his thoughts that he had not realized the door had opened. Barely recognized the blue eyes that grew worried the second he looked at him. But he did hear and see Mr. Colt rush forward to check on him.

“Hey Dean, what’s wrong, sweetie?” Castiel immediately tried to discern what was wrong with the little boy. Dean was relieved that he was face to face with his confidant but that was new. Mr. Colt had never called him sweetie before but it certainly made his heart swell just a tiny bit.

“Wha...what happens with Chameul and Kevin and..and Meg?” Dean asked taking deep breaths to keep himself from crying. Castiel sighed as he remembered how attached Dean was to his sister and the two kids he lived with. Meg was only a year away from testing and Kevin was four years.

“Well, that’s going to depend on your caretakers' choices. I’m sure if you explained how much they meant to you they would choose to find some way for you to visit or spend time with them.” Castiel calmed him rubbing his thumbs over Dean’s little hands. This was something he had found helped calmed the young boy a long time ago.

“How..how do I know who’s my caretaker? I thought they were grouped by age group like littles. That way someone who would not deal well with really young littles would not be placed with one.” Dean was rambling he knew he was. He never really showed that he read up on all of the classifications before. It was pointless to know all of this yet not what the tests were and what he was going to be.

“Well, that’s why I’m here I’m gonna ask some simple questions, much easier than those asked in the first test.” Dean nodded showing his understanding but he was lost in more worries. 

_ What if I chose a caretaker and they don’t like me? What if they're worse than dad was? Maybe dad was right and I’m nothing more than a useless piece of….No! I’m not gonna go down there. If I keep asking then I’m only going to fulfill it. _

“Good Dean, focus on me. Can you tell me what you think of my friend here?” Mr. Colt pulled out a blue bunny that had a cute little face and held it up towards Dean. 

Dean’s breath hitched slightly as excitement poured into him and then he looked at the psychiatrist with a slight glint in his eyes. He did not want to answer though.  _ Did not want to be more of a freak than he already was. Dad was right. I should not like any of this. I’m gonna lose the only people that have ever liked me because of this. Never get to eat pizza with Chameul, never study and read with Kevin and never ever play video games with Meg again. He was never going to see them and it was all because he was a freak. _

“Dean, sweetie, I want you to look at me. Deep breath. Good, now remember no one here is going to judge you for wanting a toy. No one is going to take you away from your family and if they tried to I would show them how much you need them to be mentally well. Alright? Now can you tell me about my friend?” Castiel was worried. Dean had never come this close to losing himself in his dad’s old taunts since he was a freshman. 

Chameul had worked with Dean for months along with Castiel’s help. Every time Dean fell into one of his doubtful moments they would remind him how much he was loved. How not one of them not even Castiel was leaving him. Dean needed to be reminded as his old fears tried to consume him and Castiel now knew for sure that this terrified child was his. He was sure because Dean would probably end up more broken if he was left with any other caretaker.

“She...she’s really cute...may..may I...hold...hold her?” Dean stuttered out a deep red blush blotching his pale skin. Castiel gently pushed the bunny into his arms. It was the same one that he kept in his office that Dean had been eyeing since the first day he had met Castiel.

“Good job, Dean. Now I just want to know you don’t need to speak if you don’t want to but can you tell me what you want from these two images?” Castiel held up a picture of a bottle and sippy cup. Dean’s blush seemed to darken more as he pointed at the bottle. Castiel praised him and showed him the next two. 

With each new pairing, Castiel gained a greater understanding of Dean and his mindset. He was pretty sure he had his age not even two cards in but he had to be sure. There were plenty of times were a toddler mindset had chosen a bottle and a crib. 

Once they got through the deck. Castiel took a steadying breath. He knew that he had to tell a child...nay a baby that was on the brink of a panic attack how old he was in headspace. Dean could have a horrible reaction and start rejecting his mindset or he could just be accepting.

“Good, sweetie, you did wonderful. Dean, can you focus on me again? That’s good. Now, remember that these tests are only 80% effective of getting the right headspace age but I think the range you fall into is about a newborn to a year old.” Castiel held his breath expecting to see Dean start to reject that part of himself.

_ A..a baby? I’m that messed up? That much of a freak that I’m a baby? No-no-no. I can’t be! There’s a twenty percent chance it is wrong! What if I’m placed with the wrong type of caretaker?! I need...I need… _

“Shh Dean. I’m right here. Shh...remember deep breath in...deep breath out. That’s great. I have never left your side Dean and I’m not about to. So just keep focusing on the air coming in and the air going out.” This was the most terrifying thing Castiel had ever gone through with a little before. He’s never been so fearful that a little was going to hurt themselves till today. 

Dean wanted to hug Mr. Colt, wanted to cry out his frustrations of accepting this, just wanted to be assured that he was not going anywhere. Cause dad had always promised him when he was a kid he was going nowhere but when push came to shove...Dean was all alone in the world. Dean’s thoughts were not helping him any and he knew that but he just wanted to lose himself in something else...something that did not make him little and helpless.

“It’s alright Dean, remember what I said about the bunny? We are not here to judge, we’re here to help pick up the pieces before someone can help you put them back together.” Castiel found himself with a lap full of a weepy, green-eyed little. Dean’s fist curled itself right over Castiel’s heart and it was as if that was the final dam to be broken. Tears trekked their way down his cheeks and Dean’s breathing had changed slightly. It was less of a frightened quickened breathing and more of I’m-about-to-wail-at-the-top-of-my-lungs-if-you-don’t-do-something type. Castiel decided to try distraction with the only thing he had with him. The bunny found its way onto Dean’s chest and with some slight difficulty, it is head bumped against his chin.

A light almost startled giggle fell from Dean as he found himself being bombarded with bunny kisses. Castiel revealed in that sound he had only ever heard Dean laugh twice and that was with Meg and Kevin. He stopped though before Dean ended up peeing himself or making himself sick.

“Better, sweetheart?” Dean nodded quickly but snuggled closer to Castiel. “Honey I have to help place you before the days out. Because of how young you are it is going to take time to settle you. There are only two caretakers in this area that are equipped to work with younger mindsets. The first one is suited for newborns up to three, never married and lives on the opposite side of town. “

“No. I don’t want to have another chance of my dad nor do I want to live so far away from Chameul, Kevin, Charlie, and Meg.” _and you were_ silently added as Dean shook his head vehemently at the idea of being so far away. 

"Well the next choice is much closer but..it is a couple. They live about thirty minutes down the road from Chameul. They are both caregivers and are inclined towards newborns to two-year-olds. I..I think that they are the best choice for you but that is solely your choice. They also love food, books and can't wait to finally have their own little."

Dean was thinking about it, Castiel was a constant in his life since he started high school and the man has always been truthful with him. Good at calming him even better than Charlie or Chameul. But...but who could this couple be? What if it was some random person off the streets and he did not know them and they decided to stop his sessions with Mr. Colt. 

Dean's breathing was back to panicky, terrified stuttering breaths but before Castiel could calm him down. Dean started to on his own, once he was not about to go spiraling into a dark void he quietly asked, "Who is it?"

Castiel's heart skipped a beat _this is no or never Cas. Remember what Sammy always said to me. Leap but only when sure_. "It is..Sam and I. Dean, we've been wanting a little since we were first tested. We would love for you to be ours but only if you are a hundred percent sure. Sweetie everything that happens to you after these tests are all about you."

"I...I...I've always wanted you! I did not want to leave you either!" Tears were starting to form and were again slowly trekking down his face.

"Oh, Dean. Sweetie, it is okay to want things. Shh, it is alright. If you want Sam and I then you can always be ours. Shh..no more tears sweetheart." Castiel rubbed Dean's back gently rocking the little boy back and forth. Cooing reassurances as Dean just nodded into his neck. 

_ This is right. This is what I've been missing my whole life. _ _I need him as much as he needs me and if he wants us then he will have us. He's chosen this for once and that's a huge step. I'll get him settled when he is calmer and I'm going to be here...forever step of the way. Dean, I wish I could tell you how much I love you already._


	4. What's for dinner?

Dean was blinking owlishly up at him. A few tears stuck to the tip of his lashes and he looked tuckered out from all the emotions he had to deal with. Castiel did not know what came over him but he did not want to put his Dean down just yet. Instead, he called out to the nurse who was trying, and failing, at not listening to them.

“Noel, can you go into my office and grab my satchel and the gray duffle bag?” Castiel had stood up at this point with Dean balanced on his hip. Dean did not even flinch just snuggled into Castiel with an arm draped around his neck.

“Sure Castiel.” She ducked into his office which was right next to where she was standing. Castiel decided to walk around the room while she looked for the bags. A sway added to his step, hand rubbing up and down his back. He was dead set on getting Dean as close to sleep as he possibly could.

“Here you go Castiel.” Noel clicked back over holding the needed bags. Castiel had to bite back his want to scold her on almost startling Dean. He gestured towards the bed with a quiet thank you.

“Alright, little man. You are gonna get in some nice warm clothes and then we are going to go and get dinner and some special just for Dean items.” Castiel tells Dean as he laid the boy down. He kept talking to Dean as he meticulously took Dean’s baggy clothing off, wiped him down with the baby wipes he kept and then started the long process of diapering and clothing.

Distraction was key to settling new littles, he knew this better than any of the other caretakers. He got Dean to raise his arms as he eased his new onesie down over his face. Smoothing out the fabric as he told Dean to raise his legs so that he could slide a fresh diaper under him. Dean looked like he was contemplating what he wanted to do in response to this new attire. 

Castiel decided to not distract for this one instead he started rubbing the baby’s stomach. Telling him to just hold out for a little longer than he would like it more than soggy pants. Castiel was glad that he could see Dean falling slowly but surely into his mindset.

Once he had Dean ready he was not surprised to see that it was time for classes to get out. He would normally call Sam the second he left his office but he had already called Sam earlier. Instead, he scooped a very sleepy Dean up with his bags slung over his shoulder. He would call Sam while he was in the car. 

Cutting through the crowd Dean’s face tucked into his neck, his hand rubbing the boy’s back calming him with each stroke. Entering the faculty parking lot, Castiel made his way to his ford, making a list of everything he would need for the baby right away and what was for later.

Castiel was never more thankful that they always kept simple little things in the car. He did not want to put Dean down but he knew he would have to, to put the car seat in place. Laying dean down in the backseat keeping just enough space for the car seat to buckle in.

After wrestling the car seat into place, getting Dean buckled and then himself Castiel felt like he had just completed a marathon. He still had to call Sam and tell him the good news and also create a shopping list for tonight and this weekend when he would have Sam’s help. I also needed to call Chamuel before Kevin’s bus shows up and tell her what’s up with Dean.

Tuning the radio to some classic music channel he’s sure his husband’s listen to, Castiel looked back at the baby who was almost passed out with his bunny pulled tight to his chest. Dialing Sam’s number through his Bluetooth, Castiel pulled out of the spot.

“Hey, Cassy!” Castiel cringed at his moose of a husband’s booming voice. 

“Shhhh. Sammy if you wake up our baby...you will not be a happy man ever.” Castiel hissed out. Sam was instantly reminded of what his family does for a living. They might all seem nice and happy but there is a reason they are all pretty well off and it was not solely caused by their parents.

“Oh my gosh, Cassy…our baby? Oooh, I’m gonna file for sometime sick time as soon as I can. Hurry Cassy...what did you want?” Castiel wanted to laugh but he was so used to it with his whole family. Plus this was huge news, Sam would want to take every last sick day, paternity day and wait ever else he could find to be home with the new baby.

“Sammy take a breather. You know your boss would give you time off within a drop of a dime. They’ve been asking for almost two months now. Anyways he was tested to be about newborn to a year old. I think he will be within that range but don’t tell him that. He wants to believe he still has a chance to be a big boy. Dean’s going to need a lot of help accepting who is now but we can’t keep him from Chamuel, Meg, Kevin, and Charlie. They are as much his family as he is ours. Also, honey, you owe me dinner decisions.” Castiel reminded him as he turned onto the highway. 

“Dinner that’s right...dinner. Ummm how about something Asian?” Sam asked thinking about something, “Actually call Cam and ask her what Dean’s favorite. Let’s give him something special for his homecoming.” 

“This is why I married you.” Castiel reminded him. “Love you, Sam. I think the baby’s gonna wake up soon.”

“Love you too Cassy.” Castiel clicked off as he turned into the organic supermarket that Sam swore by. Now that he was thinking about it he wanted to take out all the horrible food and make it as healthy as possible. He did not want a sugar high baby to have to deal with at all. Seeing that Dean was still asleep and knowing he had not slept long enough he dialed his sister’s number.

“Chamuel’s housing for lost and the needy. How may I help you today?” He smiled a bit as his sister’s breezy, calming voice flowed through the car.

“Hey Cammy, I have some news about Dean.”

“Oh thank goodness! Cas why did you take so long? I’ve been waiting for him for so long!” 

“Shhh!” Castiel silenced her quickly. Glancing back at the baby to make sure he was still asleep.

“What?”

“I told you to quiet down sis. Dean’s asleep and I don’t want him to wake up. He was classified today and I just wanted to let you know. Dean’s a little...and he agreed to Sam and me as caretakers. He wants you, Kevin and Meg to stay in his life.” Castiel quietly told her as he got out. Popping the trunk to grab the reusable bags he kept talking to his sister now on his mobile. 

“Ooooo Cassy! I can’t wait to see my baby nephew. He’s gonna be spoiled rotten!” Chamuel squealed. “Oh, I should call the rest of the family for you. Throw him a big classification party.”

“No! Cammy this is the one time I’m gonna tell you to hold on a second. I want him to meet every one of course but you know Dean. I would rather he meets Michael and Gabriel before a big family meeting. Oh, and what’s Dean’s favorite food?” Castiel reminded her. They had both seen Dean panic over big crowds so introducing him to a few more faces. Ones that everyone in the family listen to would be a good choice. 

“Alright, fine. It is a cheeseburger with fries and a coke. Just kiss my nephew goodbye okay? Bye Cassy. See you soon.” Chamuel called out as she hung up.

Castiel contemplated if that was a good choice for the baby’s first meal. It was so...sugary and cholesterol heightening. Yeah, the closest the baby was getting to that meal was a healthier version with lots of veggies.

Dean woke up to an odd feeling, he was pretty warm but his legs and bits were cold. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Dean found Iris staring back at him. _Oh, how did you get here? I thought Castiel would leave you with Ms. Cross._

Castiel had to bite back a major coo when Dean started to babble to his bunny. He did not think the boy knew he was doing it. Castiel thought was very thankful that the bunny was sitting on Dean’s chest cause he did not think he would be very happy to know he had wet his diaper.

“Well hello, sleepyhead. Did you have a good nap?” Castiel asked him as he set him up. Fixing his onesie one last time, Castiel picked him up.

“S..sleepy.” Dean summed up, a pout being shot to Castiel.

“You’re very cute but no you can’t go back to sleep, sweetie. But you won’t sleep if I let you.” Castiel reminded him. Placing a kiss gently on his forehead. “That’s from Chamuel. She was worried about you.”

Dean smiled at Castiel as they made their way inside. The diaper bag slapping against Castiel’s thing as he grabbed a cart. Wrestling Dean into the seat even though he was not complying. Castile would have preferred just placing the car seat on top but he knew Dean still wanted to be a big boy and until he could show him he was wrong.

As they entered the shop Dean stiffened slightly at seeing they were entering a grocery store. Castiel not thinking about it started to play with the bunny. Making it hop up to Dean and then kiss him on the nose or bop him. Dean was trying so hard to hide his laughter but he lost to the instinct.

 _“_ Iris. Stopp!” Dean begged as he pushed at the bunny giggles filling Castiel’s ears and his heart. When he stopped to grab some of the ingredients he had a bit of a dilemma. He did not want to leave Dean when he was uncomfortable but he needed those ingredients for dinner. Thankfully Dean gave him a solution. 

“Iris!” Dean pointed at the bunny that was not moving anymore. Castiel was startled out of his thoughts but he just smiled at the little and offered him the bunny. Dean squished it against his chest as Castiel made the quick escape to grab the veggie burgers Sam swore by. They weren't vegetarians and he knew that Sam would be surprised to see the burgers but he wanted the best for his baby and that meant healthy burgers.

Dean did not know why they were getting groceries. Most people he lived with did one big shopping trip early in the week and then made dinner from that. But then again he’s never seen anyone buy this much rabbit food... _maybe Iris is hungry. I’m sure Castiel would have talked with Iris on the way over and she suggested all of this. Wait! That’s not..no way no how is that going anywhere near me._

“No!” Dean told him when he saw the package of bottles, pacifiers and a bib get placed into the cart.

“Dean, honey, this is not up for discussion. We don’t know how far you will drop and that means we have to be prepared for the youngest as well as the oldest. That means bottles, pacis and a multitude of other items. We are going to take a few days before going on a big shopping trip. So maybe these are just in cases. Okay?” Dean wanted to argue more but Castiel seemed to be sure in the idea that Dean would be needing these. _Well, I’ll show him. I ain’t no freak and there ain’t no way I’ll be drinking from a bottle lest it is filled with alcohol._

Castiel sighed he knew that this was going to be the biggest fight with Dean. Once he was home and they could start to show him how young he was it would not happen as much. Castiel would have normally suggested a new little was exposed to the treatment as soon as possible but he knew Dean. Dean would panic and push the side of himself that was so healthy and new aside and ignore it till it harmed him. Everything would have to be private at first but once they eased him into his mindset then he would be consistently treated that way.

_Of course there will be days when he’s big or bigger but that does not mean certain things were going to change. He won’t be able to control basic instincts or basic bodily functions. Every little has those pitfalls though and Dean was going to be no different._

Castiel was glad that he had decided to wait a few days though on the big shopping trip just this one was a bit tiresome. Dean had not had any major meltdowns but Castiel could tell that he had a cranky baby on his hands and could not wait to leave. 

Castiel was trying to keep Dean entertained throughout the checkout process but he was leaning closer to meltdown than he wanted. _Deep breaths Cas..deep breaths..he’s a baby think of something simple. I spy?_

“Dean, what do you see?” Castiel asked as he tried a last-ditch effort. Dean’s head whipped around to him and he had an odd little quirk of his eyebrows.

 _Can’t he see what I see_? _Is Castiel losing it?_ Dean was utterly bewildered. Castiel then remembered Dean has not played games with anyone since he was 5. Yeah sure school’s had kids do things like this but never one on one.

“Dean, I’m sorry, sweetie this is my fault. I wanted us to play some I-spy. I was hoping it would help distract you a bit.” Castiel explained as he pushed the cart forward. It was as he got Dean settled deeper again, focusing on the game, sure crisis was avoided it happened.


	5. After dinner

The woman was older a strong advocate against other classifying if her response to him and Dean was anything to go by. She had been glaring at them since they had gotten into line and scoffing at everything Castiel had said. Her voice had cut through Castiel’s third time getting Dean to find something green.

“Disgusting inbreds the lot of you!” Castiel just let it roll off of him but he saw Dean stop moving Iris across the bar of the cart. 

"Dean are you excited to see Chamuel? She said she might come over tomorrow." A lie but a distraction from the woman behind him. He was sure his sister would gladly accommodate it would not be a bad idea to have her there when he meets with Gabriel or Michael. 

“Chamuel?!” Dean asked, a bounce showing his excitement. Nodding his head Castiel pushed the cart forward again noticing he was only two people away from checking out. _Dear god if there was ever a time for you to speed up a checkout lane this would be the best time to._

“Did you hear me! I told you that you’re a disgusting no good creep. A pedophile! You’re going to hell with all of those other assholes!!” She screeched. Castiel never thought he would be so glad to have come immediately from school and not on his day off or the weekend. He was also glad that Sam was not here and that Dean was not fully in his mindset. 

Dean had tears falling now and he was trying his best to rock and self soothe but Castiel could tell the boy was already on the brink of just shutting down. Dean only ever shut down when he found himself unsafe and unusually stressed. Castiel wished he could just take Dean out of the situation but they were so close to checking out and he knew that Dean would be too stressed to come back in.

The clerk seemed to have seen and heard everything and could see the dilemma in Castiel’s eyes. She spoke up her eyes shooting daggers at the woman. Castiel had taken the time to pluck Dean out of the seat and was bouncing him on his hip, head tucked into his neck.

“Madam, remove yourself from my store. You will be banned from speaking like that to another. I will happily call the police to escort you but you will also be charged. So option one: get out and just be banned forever. Option two: be escorted out, still be banned and add charges to your name forever. Now, what will it be?” The clerk glared deeply at the woman and now that’s why her face had seemed so familiar. 

“Shh Dean shh you’re alright. I’m right here. Not leaving you...remember I promised.” Castiel whispered into Dean’s ear rubbing a hand up and down his back. He decided to ignore the two women. He was not surprised though that the older woman took the deal. 

“I’m so sorry about that Mr. Colt. Please know that I will be calling the police as soon as I get this line covered.” She apologized profusely. “Please let me know if there is anything we..no I can do.”

“Thank you very much, Abigail, but I just need to get through this line and get my son home,” Castiel told her coolly as he kept up his new job of calming Dean. 

“I wish there was more I could do to help Mr. Colt. The total should be 43.50.” She told him not to check a single item just knowing off the top of her head what her products cost. “Please come back tomorrow with Sam and we can talk about this little one. It is the best and the most I could do Mr. Colt.” She waved in Dean’s direction though he was still nestled pretty tightly in Castiel’s neck.

"Thank you again, Abigail." Castiel inclined his head as he pushed the cart the rest of the way out. 

_Why do I have to be such a freak? Why could not I be normal and not a little? Castiel does not deserve to be called an inbred or disgusting or..or a pedophile! Castiel was nothing but kind and caring. He would drop everything in his life if meant helping his patients and family. I’m the freak not him. Not him_.

Castiel wished he could understand what was going through Dean’s head the boy was silent but tears were still marching down his face. He would wipe them away almost as soon as they appeared but quickly had more following the same path. Castiel knew that it was not solely the cause of this outing and that woman or anything else. He was sure this has been coming for a long time built up since long before he was kicked out of his first home.

_Castiel already sees me as his son? I’m a horrible son though I’m gonna fuck it up with my grades or my inability to be little as much as he wants me to. Won’t he and Sam give me up because I’m too old in mindset? Where will I go if they decide I’m not cut out to be their son?_

“Dean, I’m always here if you need me. I stand by my promise that I’m not leaving you and I know that Sam will promise the same. Once you agree to be ours you are ours forever okay honey?” Castiel asked quietly keeping an eye on Dean in the rearview mirror as he flicked the turn signal on. 

Dean contemplated that for a bit then shakily asked, “What if...what if I’m not good enough? What if a younger and better little is put up and you like them more?” 

“Oh sweetheart no. That will never happen. Sam and I made the decision long before you were even a possibility that we would never give up on our little. We also had decided that it would only be one little for us. I was gonna keep this a secret until we got home and Sam told you but we are signing the adoption papers as long as you are still on board with this.” Castiel’s eyes never left Dean’s as he pulled into an odd-looking neighborhood. Dean just nodded dumbfounded by the idea that someone would want him that much. 

“Looks like someone beat us home. Are you excited to see Sam?” Castiel had to stop himself from asking if he was excited to see Papa. 

“Uh-huh!” Dean was excited to see Sam as it has been months since he last saw him. Sam and him had always gotten along well they had fixed many of the problems in Chameul’s house because Castiel was so not made out for handiwork and her brothers were busy.

Castiel bit back his laughter as he saw just how excited the little was. Probably thinking he was going to be allowed to fix something. Finally, Castiel let out a deep breath as he stopped the car in the driveway.

“Alright buddy, you and I are going to head inside and I’m gonna make big strong Sam carry all those groceries inside. How does that sound?” Castiel asked him with a wink as he unclipped the car seat with Dean inside. Dean’s eyes widened when he was picked up in the car seat as if he weighs nothing. 

“Sam! We’re home.” Castiel called out as he slipped his shoes off and then unbuckled Dean taking his shoes off as well. Sam came bounding out of the living room a grin plastered across his face. 

“Hey Cas, Dean!” He plucked the little out of Cas’s arms and spin him around a tiny bit. Dean felt his stomach drop out of him and then a giggle burst as he realized he was perfectly safe.

“Sam unless you want to be cleaning up sick I would suggest you stop.” Castiel deadpanned as he placed his satchel on the hanger followed by his ugly trench coat.

“Again!” Dean told Sam ignoring Castiel’s warning which got him an eye roll behind his back.

“Sorry Dean but Cas makes the rules. Love you kid but don’t want the repercussions do we?” Sam asked now rubbing Dean’s back in the same calming manner that Castiel did.

_Why is that they both seem to think I can’t walk? I mean I understand the car seat I’m supposed to be a young little but really? I can too totally walk! Watch me!_

“Down?” Dean asked with green puppy eyes. Sam laughed a bit as he carefully placed the little on his feet. Squatting behind him Sam watched with a worried eye as Dean balanced himself. Dean did not know that most littles his age range would find themselves losing their balance quickly. He knows it is only been a few hours since his classification but that’s when the hormones for each classification were at its highest making the changes happen faster. 

There was a science behind how these classifications worked. Even if it seemed like all tests and nothing special there’s a release of hormones that rage through a sixteen-year-olds body. They start to slowly add into the bloodstream after their birthdays but react when a stimulus was given. When the students were lined up and entering the room to get tested each was injected with an extra boost of the hormone which is what causes them to go through the changes faster. 

Dean lifted his foot ready to take his first step when he felt his body give and found himself falling...falling to the ground quicker than he wanted to think about. Sam’s big warm hands caught him before he really hurt himself and pulled him close to Sam’s chest.

“Easy there,” Sam told him as he stood back up now with Dean on his hip. Dean’s arms were pretty tight around Sam’s neck and when Sam looked at Castiel he could see a small amount of jealousy.

“Sam I was gonna ask you if you wanted to grab the bags from the car. I almost hurt my arm loading them earlier.” Sam felt like rolling his eyes but he handed Dean over with a kiss planted on his cheek and then one on Iris who had not left Dean’s grip since the store. “I see someone is attached to his bunny,” Castiel told him as they walked into the kitchen.

“Iris,” Dean told him with a nod of his head. “And..and she told you to get all..all that...rabbit food!” _Dean was adorable though what brought on his sure idea that his bunny told me to get “rabbit food” is gonna have to get explained._

“Oh, and what made you think that?” Castiel asked as he brought the baby over to a chair with clips. _I’m not calling it a highchair until he knows the rules and can’t puppy eye us over it._

“Cause..cause Iris likes all the food you got! And..and there were no real burgers!” Leave it to Dean to notice that there was no real meat on tonight’s menu. Castiel sighed as he looked at the kid. He knew they had some good steaks in the fridge that had to be eaten soon but he also knew Sam would see those burgers and want one.

“How about this we eat what I got for dinner tonight and if you hate it we can make you whatever you want for dinner tomorrow.” Castiel stared at him as he made this pact with a solid (ish) handshake. Dean knew he was gonna win this and he was gonna get some pie for dinner tomorrow!

Sam came in not even seconds after with several bags twisted around his hands. He just glanced at the two sitting at the dining room table and the sour mood that had been on his face disappeared. Dropping the bags on the counter Sam snuck up behind Dean and planted a kiss on his exposed neck.

“Sam!” Dean squealed trying to pull away from Sam’s onslaught. Castiel found himself laughing at the scene as Sam rained down kisses all over Dean. Sam stopped though when Dean looked like he was about to be sick from laughing too hard. Again the same soft rubbing that helped calm Dean down normally applied this time to his stomach as it was more exposed than his back.

“After dinner, we are all going to sit down and go over what’s going to happen now. Thankfully Chameul is always thinking ahead of me and had us go with the foster parent papers with her.” Castiel explained to Sam and Dean as he started to set up everything for dinner.

Sam looked at Dean who was ignoring Castiel and seemed to be having a conversation with his bunny. He knew that it was important for Dean to understand what was going on but he also knew that Dean was tired and hungry so it made sense, he was not paying attention. 

Reaching over Sam waited for Dean’s permission and took the bunny from his son’s hands making a bit of a voice Sam started to simply explain what was going on, “Hi Dean! I heard your caretakers want to make sure you’re safe and loved. So they have some rules! They also want you to know that they love you soooo much they want you to be theirs forever!”

Dean giggled at Iris telling him all about what comes next. Sam was glad that it was getting through to Dean as it was really important for the boy to know. He knew right then that Cas was right this little boy was theirs. Dean brought joy to his life that he had not even realized was missing till now.


	6. No matter what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a psychiatrist or a lawyer or anything that would know all of this. It is fictional so if someone does not agree with my version of Dean shutting down I apologize. Everyone is different and some can keep functioning and some can not.  
> Also, this chapter is shorter than all the others because the next one is going to follow directly after this and I was not expecting to have Dean shut down he just did.

**_Chameul had never seen a more terrified child. Seeing how scared Dean was and not being able to help calm him down was tearing her heart out. She was so glad that Castiel and Sam had taken him aside to tell him what was going to happen. This was the reason why she hated court. She could not be there for her children even if they were not going to stay as hers._ **

**_Sam had taken this case for Chameul but after meeting Dean this was now for him. Seeing him shaking just because he had seen that man had shattered his heart. Now he understood why Chameul was taking him on as another foster child. Also why his husband had taken the boy under his wing as best he could._ **

**_John glared at the stupid fucking idiot of a son he had. A fucking subpena appearing on his door all so this fucker can take him to court because he had kicked him out. He should have just taken care of him years ago when he was a smaller problem._ **

**_Dean was glad he had Castiel and Sam by his side the entire time of the case. Chameul, Kevin and Meg were sitting right behind him but they were not able to be there for him. Something about appearing as if they were not going to take him on until after John had left._ **

**_Dean felt like he was dying when Castiel and Ms. Cross had given all of their evidence against John. Lots of Dean suffered from broken and unset bones, Dean suffers from severe anxiety and the icing on cake Dean is showing signs of mental and physical abuse. John’s face had darkened more and more with each word that came out of their mouths. He had barely been able to scrape up enough coins to get a public defender while his “son” was able to get one of the best in their area?_ **

**_John growled under his breath when the judge ruled in Dean’s favor telling him that he was going to be subjected to home visits from Child Protective Services for Adam. He wanted to argue and tell them that his angel would never be treated like that whore. His lawyer though seemed to have read his mind because he dragged him out of the room._ **

Dean was lost in thought abut that day as he stared at the adoption papers. That was the first time he realized that he had a family that actually cared. Castiel and Sam had made the promise that they were not going to leave him for the first time that day. It was true though they did not have custody of him they always made sure he was okay and helped be positive role models. 

Now Dean’s deepest desire was being granted he was being offered the chance of adoption with his favorite people behind Cahmeul, Kevin, Meg, and Charlie. He was not sure though if he wanted to take it. They were going to decide he was all wrong for them just like dad and Kate did and they were going to leave him. Leave him just like  **they** did with nothing more than a name. 

“Dean, sweetie, maybe we should go over the rules first and then we can talk about the adoption?” Sam suggested seeing the fear and worry in his eyes. Dean found himself robotically nodding barely taking in what was happening still lost in the idea of the adoption failing.

“Dean,” Castiel called him his fingers gently gripping his chin so that they maintained eye contact.

He blinked and tried to focus back on Castiel and Sam but he could feel himself just hitting his breaking point. Dinner was great they had laughed and joked but now he felt like he was standing on edge of rejection and he did not want that to happen. The world seemed duller and everything seemed to be happening in slow motion.

Castiel felt fear flood his system as he saw Dean’s eyes glazing over and seeming to dull right before him. He had only ever seen Dean like this once before and it still frightens him to watch Dean shut down. Instincts kicked in and he found himself picking Dean up and walking around the room rubbing his back. 

Talking in barely a whisper Castiel asked Sam, “Can you go up to our room and turn down the blankets and go grab the diaper bag from the nursery? We’ll meet you up there. I’m gonna bath him.”

Walking away without even getting an answer Castiel took Dean to his and Sam’s bathroom. Carefully balancing Dean he filled the tub with warm water, bubbles and some of those scent thingies Sam liked. Stripping Dean down he found his diaper was dry..worrisome but not horribly and then he stripped down to his boxers. Holding onto Dean he settled into the water with Dean against his chest, hand cupping the back of his neck. 

Sam turned down the blankets then grabbed one of the few baby blankets they had and placed it in the center like a diamond. He went and grabbed some of the lotion he used to help go to sleep. Normally he would of used baby lotion but they did not have any. Heck, they did not even have a crib for Dean just yet. 

Castiel stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around Dean loosely and one draped over his shoulders. When he saw that Sam had done everything and more he pecked Sam on the lips quickly as he continued with his focus on Dean. Tonight they would make sure Dean knew they were not ever going to leave him even if he could not deal with that idea just yet. 


	7. We will always love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cheesy title but I felt it summed up these last 2 chapters greatly. Also, the next chapter will be longer as it will include the dreaded rules unless a certain character or two wish to hijack the story again.

Dean woke slowly trying to figure out where he was as he had never seen the light blue canopy before nor felt the heavyweight on his tummy. Trying to piece together what happened last night Dean was at a loss. He remembers dinner, having Iris sit next to him cause Castiel had told him she might get dirty. Also, he remembers being told that they wanted to adopt him. After that everything just seems to be fractures.

Sam watched Dean wake up and try to figure out where he was, not wanting to startle him Sam started to gently rub his stomach. He smiled when he saw Dean relax into the soothing motion without even thinking about it. Dean finally wiggled just enough so that he could see who was rubbing his stomach he stilled at seeing Sam.

“Hey there little man. Did you sleep well?” Sam moved to gently scoop Dean up against his chest. Dean just blinked at him as he gave another experimental wiggle. “Cassy decided to swaddle you last night. He was really worried about you.” Sam whispered the last part glancing at his peacefully sleeping husband.

“Iris?” Dean asked as he realized that he was getting out anytime soon without help. Sam snickered at Dean’s sudden change in topic.

“She’s still downstairs if I remember correctly. Why don’t you and I get ready for the day and have a little chat while I make breakfast?” Sam knew this was going to be a great way to ask Dean what was bothering him without Castiel psychoanalyzing him.

Dean nodded eager to get out of the swaddle, he would never emit that it was very comforting, as he wiggled a bit more trying to help Sam. Sam bit back his laughter knowing that he might wake Cassy up if he did. Deciding to leave Dean to his wiggling as he grabbed a fresh diaper and a onesie.

“Alright, wiggle worm lets get you out of the cocoon and into some clean clothes.” Sam was not sure why Dean thought his wiggling would help but it was adorable. 

Dean’s nose crinkled when he realized they had been putting him in diapers. He did not need those stupid things but if he did not need them then why did he not feel an urge to take a piss. This was a worrisome development maybe his junk was numb? No that could not be it as he could clearly feel the cold air and the thick padding now against it.

“That’s normal sweetie. Most littles’ brains will turn off the urge to go to the restroom. Has to do with the hormones and all that mumbo jumbo.” Sam explained as he finished diapering Dean, “Arms up.” He waited until he got Dean’s corporation and gently eased the top over his head. 

Dean felt odd knowing all of that and just raised his arms wanting to just be held. He snuggled into Sam’s chest hoping that he would keep the world out. It was scary knowing everything was changing and he had no say, he wanted someone to fix it all and right now that was Sam.

Sam took Dean with him downstairs and instead of immediately cooking breakfast he sat down with Dean on his lap. He knew taking Dean on was going to be a challenge but this was the child he loved and his husband loved. They had wanted Dean since the first time they meet him.

“Dean, do you remember the first time we meet?”Sam asked not even thinking about where he was going with this.

“Yeah?” Dean was worried that Sam was going to tell him that he was a brat then just as he is now. Sam felt his heartbreaking even more hearing Dean’s uncertainty. Pulling his arms a little tighter so that he felt more sure that Dean was there.

“The minute Castiel came home after first meeting you all he could talk about was you. He told me about the scared freshman who had the most telling green eyes. I was taken aback he talks about his students sometimes but never in that much detail. Then he insisted I meet you telling me that I’m gonna love you as much as he does. Now love is not a word Castiel Colt throws around. 

He and I had been dating each other for four years and known each other for twelve when he told me he loved me. I was worried that he was getting too attached to a student that had not been classified so I agreed. It is hard to explain but when you’ve been classified for a long time there’s always a possibility of being wrong but you can sometimes guess where a person will fall. Add on knowing you’re history and we were all pretty sure you were going to be a little. 

The minute my eyes fell on you. I just felt this spark that Castiel did not feel until you were classified but I knew deep in my heart that you were going to be ours. When we got home I told him that I agreed. I loved you and did not want to see you end up someone who would feed into those negative voices.” Sam found himself rocking with Dean holding onto his hands as they both seemed to fall into a focused synched movement.

Taking a minute to breathe Sam kissed the top of Dean’s head and hummed a few bars of some lullabies or song Dean was not sure which. But he found those horrible thoughts about them wanting to give him up because he was him were slowly leaving. With each sway from left to right Dean felt like they were being pushed off. 

“See Dean we will never leave you because we’ve loved you since the beginning,” Sam whispered into his ear and Dean’s heart felt like it stopped then started racing. Instead of asking him what he was thinking about last night Sam focused on just continuing the same slow movement. 

Castiel stood at the bottom of the stairs staring at his husband and baby. He had heard what Sam had said and felt tears in the corners of his eyes but he stayed to watch them for just a bit longer. He did not want to disturb them as they continued in their little world but he should have known that Dean would hear him step on that stupid creaky panel.

“Cas don’t you have something to tell Dean?” Sam asked not even opening his eyes as he had his head resting on the back of Dean’s.

Castiel cleared his throat a bit but came around so that he was right before them. Squatting down and placing his hands on top of Dean’s and Sam’s, Castiel told him, “I make decisions based on forever. That means I don’t just jump into something without consideration. So when I tell you I love you...and that I want you to be my son..my child then that means forever. Okay, Dean?” 

Dean nodded and he reached out for Castiel leaned a little forward and got a careful hug as Dean started to cry a bit. “You..you two are my role models. I...I tried to do everything so that I can make you proud. I love you for always being there. Even...even if you don’t have the time for me or..or the patience.” Dean pulled away and tried to swipe at his tears but was clumsy and missed a good amount of them. Castiel gently wiped them away with his thumbs as Dean pulled away and told them, “Okay..okay enough with this chick flick. What happened last night?”

A shared look between the two of them had Dean worried. Did he do something wrong? Castiel sighed seeing the scared look from Dean.  _ Two steps forward one leap back. _

“There’s nothing you could ever do that’s wrong, sweetheart. We were just wondering how much we should tell you from last night. But before we have any long discussions...my tummy’s rumbling and I’m sure a certain bunny missed her human.”

“Iris!” Dean startled feeling horrible that he had forgotten all about his dear bunny. She might be lonely after not spending the night with him, Castiel and Sam...that was a lot to say. He’s sure they would have a rule against him using their names.  _ Not sure how much I can follow that rule but I would do anything to make these two proud of me.  _

_ Because no matter what Dean, we will always love you _ . Sam smiled as he released Dean to Castile who brought him to rescue his poor oh so lonely bunny. 


	8. Who signed me up for this?

Dean sat at the table as Sam and Castiel spread out a large paper with crayons, markers, and colored pencils. He was confused but he did not want to interrupt them to ask, instead he just sat back and watched with Iris. The only thing Dean knew was one second they were enjoying some of the best pancakes he had ever eaten (not that he would admit that as Castiel made him eat some with bananas and strawberries) the next they were pulling out all of these tools.

“Okay, I think we have everything we need. Oh Dean, sweetie, we really need to go shopping for some more toys.” Castiel mumbled as he saw Dean just staring at what they had set out, “Now we got all of this ready so we can write down our rules and consequences. At the end of it, we are all going to sign it.” At this, he eyed both Sam and Dean who both pulled faces. 

“Cassy do we really need to sign it? I’m sure just having it up in the house and us knowing what they are in general is enough.” Sam whined with a hurried nod from Dean.

“Yes, we all have to sign. This way it is a shared contract and if one of us is not here the other is following the same set standards. Think of it like a school field trip slip, Dean. You have to sign that you understand when you are leaving, what you can bring for and all of that. It is also something that the parent has to sign so that we acknowledge that we follow the same rules.”

“Wait! Can we get Michael and Gabriel to sign too?” Sam perked up thinking about making his brothers in law follow something. 

“If you can ever get them to sign this I will sell those books you’ve been wanting me to get rid of,” Castiel told him with a triumphant smile. 

Dean realized quickly that Castile never took on a deal he was not a hundred percent sure he would win. He was sure that Sam was going to lose this one...he would bet Iris that Sam was going to lose this one. Watching these two joking with each other was refreshing. He had only ever seen adults (parents) arguing, at each other’s throats type of arguing. 

“Anyways Dean we would like to write down our rules but before we can put it on the big paper we are going to discuss them. These rules are a two-way street thus we agree on them before they are written down,” Castiel explained carefully making sure Dean knew what he was talking about. 

“First rule, buddy, after the adoption papers go through we are all going to be a real family. Castiel and I would like for you to call us some form of dad. Are you alright with that?” Sam asked purposefully giving Dean the option of giving them his own names and also what he wanted them to call him.

“Ok but..but you guys can’t call me girly nicknames ‘kay?” Dean tried to glare at the two but it just looked like a wet kitten. But Sam and Castiel agreed as they had told him they would listen to his wishes.

“Alright here you go Dean, you can write down the first rule,” Castiel told him and offered him the coloring utensils. 

It went on like this till they had a good-sized list with the possibility of more rules to be added that they decided it was a good idea to stop. When Dean went to sign Sam helped him, his big warm hand enveloping Dean’s as they carefully scrawled Dean at the bottom. Then Castiel with a cringe covered Dean’s hand in some water paint and had him plant it right above his name. 

Castiel had shooed them out of his kitchen so he could clean up while Sam entertained Dean with some screen time. He was only allowed to watch cartoons with them and only for a short while. This did not include family movie nights or if they had it on as background noise but Dean has to have an adult to watch the show with him. 

Dean was so engrossed in the cartoon cat and mouse that he had not even felt himself going. He did feel a sudden increase in warmth and at first ignored it till he felt that sickening feeling of dread. Horror filled his system as he realized what he had done and when he turned to look at Sam to see if he had noticed he realized that he would have to tell him.

_ No no no I am not a big useless baby who can’t even know when to go to the bathroom! That’s not possible, not one bit. Nope, no way this is all just some horrible nightmare! _ Tears had welled up and were now slowly covering his face as his fear and worry grew larger and larger.

Sam had noticed that Dean had gone still but did not think much about it, Dean was always a quiet and contemplative child well more lost in his fears and apprehensions but still. It was not until he could feel Dean shaking in fear that he did worry. Moving so that he could see the look on Dean’s face he pieced together some of the facts. 

Dean had gone last night while he was asleep, had drank a glass of orange juice with some water cause Castiel is a worrywart, and now Dean was stalk still and tearful. It took no genius to figure it out and Sam knows that it is horrible of him to even think it but it was kinda funny. He did not find Dean’s distress funny but the fact that he still did not acknowledge that this was going to happen. 

“Hey Dean-bean you’re okay. It is just a little mess, we can have that all cleaned up in no time okay?” Sam asked again the soothing tummy rub they had found out worked wonders on Dean.  _ Thank gosh Castiel’s mama and mine swore by this method to calm a babe.  _

“But..but...no!” Dean did not know what he wanted. Yes, he wanted to be clean and not sitting in his own piss but he did not want Sam to change him and see how much of a freak he was. Yeah yeah, he knows he’s a little but he did not sign up for this. No way Jose. 

_ Don’t laugh Sam, Don’t laugh. _ Sam silently chanted as he looked Dean in the eye. “Little man, what did you just tell me? I think we talked about this just this morning. We don’t use the word no if it is for our health or safety. This falls under health, honey. Plus this morning you were perfectly fine with me changing your diaper.”

Dean was surprised, he was not forced to wear his diaper after saying no and he was not hit for saying it either. He was just scolded lightly and then reminded of this morning but...but he did not think he had actually used it last night. Just thought it is what you do, you know change the diaper after night time to make sure they don’t get a rash. 

Castiel poked his head around the corner when he heard Dean’s no worried that he might have to step in. Sam held his ground though and was trying his best to coax Dean into just letting him change him but Castiel could see he was losing this battle and fast. He did not want to step in but he also knew that Dean would assume he was saving him from big mean Sam if he did.

When Castiel stepped into the room almost immediately Dean was reaching out for him. He was stretched so far he almost toppled off the couch had Sam not kept his hand on Dean’s tummy. Sam rolled his eyes when Dean snuggled into Castiel as he walked over to the ottoman. 

“Shh Dean...shh. Let’s get out a nice blanky and you are going to lay down for me right here.” Dean did not even see the attack coming as Castiel had him quickly stripped from the waist down and was already working on cleaning him up. He felt so betrayed, he had thought Castiel was there to save him not do this!

“Oh Dean, don’t look so sad. We are just trying to save you from a nasty rash.” Sam reminded him as he brought over the abandoned bunny. His only answer was a resounding glare that seemed to scream no. “Looks like we will just have to deal with a grumpy Deany for the rest of the day.” 

Dean just glared at him and thrust his hand out for Iris. Sam and Castiel share a look today was going to be a long day. They were sure of it.

**Dean’s Rules**

  1. **Dean is to call Sam and Castiel some variant of dad. Sam and Castiel may call Dean whatever they wish as long as it is not something that Dean deems “girly”**
  2. **No means no, we only use it when it comes to health and safety or it is for help of following other rules.**

  3. **We do not hit, bite, scream, kick, or harm others unless in immediate danger.**

  4. **Dean is to eat everything on his plate unless it contains an allergen. To avoid the possibility of exposure to Dean’s allergies his food will be given to him by Sam, Castiel or Chameul.**

  5. **Bedtime is 9 o’clock but will be moved when it is necessary**

  6. **Dean is not allowed to watch television without an adult present.**

  7. **Screen time: Is limited to two episodes of a cartoon (or of 2 different cartoons) about 30-40 mins. Extra screen time can be awarded and loss of screen time is possible**

  8. **Screen time does not apply to family movie night, background noise or another major event i.e. Sam’s watching the news and Dean’s in the room**

  9. **Dean will take at least one nap a day and a second nap may be added if he is being extra cranky or being a brat for no apparent reason**

  10. **Healthy and safe first. Every decision is made with that in mind so please be careful.**

  11. **Bedtime routine will be followed even if there's something else going on**
  12. **We are respectful of everyone and everything**



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize that this chapter is not up to my usual standard. I personally did not like it but I'm posting it so I don't keep deleting it and restarting. Also, I have gotten a few questions about Dean's stature and weight. Now due to some plot points, I can't explain everything but I do want to point out that abuse does not just go away in a year and a half's time. It leaves both mental and physical scars all of which are going to be addressed in this story we just are not at that point. I know it is a slow beginning and not much has happened but we have to take our time to set the foundation before we build a house. John will be back along with Chameul, Charlie, Kevin, and Meg. I hope everyone is enjoying this as I try to find my inspiration to finish my Mama Voldie series by writing this.


	9. The first time

His breathing was amplified with the phone against his ear. Praying that for some reason Michael was not home even praying that Raphael was out. But of course luck never was on Castiel’s side.

“Hello.” Castiel’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach.  _ Why oh why did I think this was a good idea? Why did not Sam talk me out of this? _

“Hello brother. I apologize for troubling you this afternoon however I wished to convey my news personally.” Castiel cringed at how formal he had to be. Michael was not one to let his younger siblings tarnish the name by being flippant.

"Castel. To what do I owe this pleasure? News you say? Have you happened to bring me those reports on my...hmm toys?" Michael was clearly enjoying Castiel's hesitance but he knew better than to chase the bait.

"The reports you speak of should have been delivered earlier this week. No my dear brother I wished to tell you about your new nephew. I was anticipating ( _ no I was not. Wished you did not have your claws so deep in my family _ ) you would create an appointment for us tomorrow?” Castiel carefully asked gritting his teeth.  _ I’m doing this for Dean. Only for Dean would I subject myself to this asshole for no reason other than he will need his protection...and agreement for him to be allowed into their family. _

“You have already dubbed him as my nephew without asking my permission?” Michael’s voice hardened and Castiel felt his heart stop then speed up as he tried to backtrack.

“We have offered adoption to him seeing as his father removed his custody while he was underage. If I became one of his fathers on the papers then he would be related to you through a series of adoptions. He could take Sam’s last name if you do not approve of him.” Castiel added quickly cringing at the idea.

“Pray tell, little brother why I would dislike my “nephew”. I will take you up on your offer. I have a slot open at 10 in the morning. Will that be an appropriate time...brother?”  _ Shit, Sam’s going to kill me for saying yes hell Dean’s going to kill me for this but I know Michael. This is our one chance. _

“That is perfect. We will be waiting upon your arrival, Michael. Do you wish for us to serve food while you are here?” Castiel could almost hear the scoff in Michael’s response before he even did so.

“I do not eat the abysmal inedible swill that your...plaything wishes to serve.” Castiel just bit back his response of anger as he agreed and told his brother that he would see him tomorrow.

Rubbing his temples to get rid of the headache he felt impending, Castiel looked at his sleeping family and felt his heart swell. Dean was on top of Sam’s chest stripped down to just his diaper after the nightmare of a change and being held in place solely by Sam’s hand. Iris was squished somewhere between the two only one of her ears visible from where he was.

He went back to his work of calling family. At least the last two he had to call were people he liked. Gabriel was first as he wanted to ask him to stop by for dinner. Chameul would probably already know she was going to be called in for tomorrow. She was scarily good at knowing these things. 

“Hey, Cassy!” Gabriel’s loud voice startled Castiel. He forgot that Gabe had probably been working for the past hour or so on more sugary creations.  _ He’s probably on some sugar high and I want him to sit still and behave with a baby around. I’m so screwed. _

“Hey, Gabe, mind piping down a bit I don’t want to wake Sammy or the baby.” It felt relieving to know he could be more himself. “I was wondering if you could flush the sugar out of your system and come over for dinner?” 

“Baby? Cassy, I thought I explained how gay sex works?” Gabriel’s laughter filled the line. Castiel could not help but to smile. If it was not for Gabe he probably would have been disowned from the family. “But dinner!? Sure! Gotta fill my first stomach with something. I’ll bring something over as thanks.”

“Gabriel, don’t you know Sam and I don’t like sugar in our house.” But Castiel’s words were already being spoken into nothing.  _ That bastard hung up on me. Asshat. _

Dialing the last person on his list Castiel immediately whined as soon as it was picked up, “Why are our older brothers crazy?” 

“Oh! Hi Castiel. I’ll hand you over to Chameul.” Kevin’s voice shocked Castiel but not enough to worry him. Kevin has heard them all grip about their older siblings.

“Because Cas they either have a stick shoved so far up that you can see the top when they open their mouths or mom let them have sugar way too early,” Chameul told him not even missing a beat. “What time do you need me over there tomorrow?”

“10. I have to get up at the crack of dawn because he decided that 10 in the morning is an acceptable time to visit a family that has a baby.”

“This is why I cut ties with him. Well as best as I can. He tried once to intervene with one of my kids...I should ask him how his hand and little receptionist are doing!” 

“Cammy please whatever you do don’t ask him that until after he agrees to Dean,” Castiel begged. 

“Oh little brother you think too much of him. He’s nothing more than a scary name. That’s it. He made a promise with dad that he won’t hurt any of us just cause we pissed him off. I made no such promises and I would suggest you don’t serve steak.”

“Cammy that’s not making my life easier. I have the scariest big brother in the entire world and then I have Gabe whose the one who helped raise us. Gave us a better ethical and moral view than any of the people in our lives. I mean if Raphael shows up I’m screwed. He hates me more than anyone else.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about his guard dog. Dad really did choose the worst people to run the family business.” Chamuel sighed. “Alright, Cas I’ll be there tomorrow morning bright and early. I’ll bring one of my quiches and some of Dean’s clothes over. Shoot me a text if you need anything else. Love you!”

“Love you too Cammy. Thanks.” The click this time did not anger him or bewilder him just felt like any other day. He knew better than to cook dinner. Burnt enough toast and water to know that he can’t cook. But he could pull out some food for dinner. Maybe those steaks with wild long grain rice and brussel sprouts. 

Convincing Sam was not going to take long like he said they were not vegetarians and Sam loved steak as much as any guy. Dean was getting some of his steak and it was going to be cut as small as Castiel could get it...he might need a microscope. He set up the table while the other two slept, Castiel would not ever admit it out loud but he was a little jealous. Sam and Dean both could nap during the day while he could not because of his family. 

**_Chuck Colt glared at his fagot of a son, he wished he could pray the gay away but could not. There was so much wrong with this vile creature. At least he had one angel one saving grace that did not want to grow up as a humanitarian or anything._ **

**_Castiel woke groggily seeing his father standing over his bed, he scrambled upwards clutching the thin sheet to his chest. Hoping that his dad had not seen them, had not seen the tattoo his brother had taken him to get, had not seen the paint on his nails. Had not seen his hidden magazines or little treasures._ **

**_“Dad?” Castiel asked worried that the man was going to start calling him Satan's child again._ **

**_“Do not call me that! Get the fuck out of bed! Get out! You will sleep when I tell you to. You will eat when I tell you to! Be lucky I did not send you to the same Camp I sent that older brother of yours to. Disgusting no good lazy…” His rant petered out where Castiel could not hear it. He just agreed and got out of his small cot and followed through with the daily rituals of his childhood. Even when his body was about ready to collapse Castiel pushed forward terrified of the consequences. The Camp had destroyed his brother and he loved him but none can hide behind pranks, jokes, and sugar. One of these days Gabriel was going to be gone._ **

“Cas? Cas, babe come on.” Sam lightly slapped Castiel’s cheek. It was just enough to bring him back to the then. 

“I’m..I’m sorry Sam. I should have been setting the table. Gabe is coming over.” Castiel pressed as much enthusiasm as he could into those few words. Sam knew better than to ask or try to figure out what brought this about. Castiel rarely got lost in his past. He liked to pretend that it was all locked up in a little box deep in his recesses. 

“It is okay. I was sleeping on the job. You should go and sit with Dean for a spell. He’s still asleep, you can just watch one of those bee documentaries you like till he wakes up.”

“You just want to have me not ruining your food. Also, don’t worry about cooking breakfast tomorrow. Chamuel and Michael will be over and you know him.” Castiel rolled his eyes at the thought of someone finding Sam’s food disgusting.

“Please, please don’t remind me.” Sam shooed him away with one of his hands plugging his ears. Castiel’s smile widened when he saw Dean curled up around a pillow, a blanket now tucked around him. He noticed that Dean’s thumb was close to his mouth and if Dean was awake he was sure he would have told him that he was a big boy and they don’t do that.

Not wanting the germ-ridden thumb near Dean’s mouth he grabbed a pacifier and plunked into his mouth. He waited with bated breath for Dean to wake up and spit out instead he just started suckling. Castiel did not know how long he stayed and watched Dean slowly pull the teat into his mouth then relax but he did realize Dean was waking up with the movement speeding up. 

Dean slowly woke up recognizing the television, the warm blanket and the little blue face staring at him. He did not recognize the plastic that was in his mouth but he liked the feeling so decided as long as Castiel and Sam were not there he would not get rid of it just yet. Turning slightly expecting to find no one Dean was staring at vivid blue eyes. 

“Hey sweetie, did you sleep well?” Castiel asked as he scooped Dean up expecting him any second to realize that he had a pacifier in his mouth but all he did was continue sucking away.

Dean considered what he was going to say to that.  _ Why do they always ask that? Are they expecting me to actually reply? How does one even respond? Like yeah daddy it was really warm and comfortable. Where did that come from?......but that fits…..It fits Castiel better than any other form of dad. Should I call him that? Should I tell him? Is it too early? _

“What’s got you thinking away?” Castiel asked as he brought Dean into the kitchen.

“Little man lost in thought?” Sam asked turning to check on them. He ignored the pacifier hoping that Dean would keep it in if he did. 

Dean thought that now had to be a good time as they were waiting for him to answer the question. But does he have the guts to answer or say it out loud. Could he follow the first rule and call them what he’s wanted to for most of his life. 

Taking a small leap Dean looked up at them with Iris tucked between him and Castiel as he pushed the pacifier out just enough to try and say it. 

Castiel and Sam both felt their hearts drop to the pits of their stomachs as they watched Dean carefully push the pacifier farther and farther out. Then they were sure they had a heart attack as Dean looked right at them and called them the only thing they could have wished for.

“D...Dada and…..and Papa!” Proud of himself as if that was all he needs to say and went back to snuggling with Iris into Castiel’s warmth.


	10. Pie beats out Uncle Gabriel

Castiel was still dumbfounded by the time his brother came around that he had not even realized Dean was dozing in his neck. Gabriel was left staring when he saw his little brother toting around a little with a blue bunny? He was glad now that he had decided to go with pie instead of cake. It would be less likely of a sugar high for the little one.

“Um, Cassy you seem to have something stuck right here.” Gabriel lightly tickled Dean’s exposed foot. Dean giggled and tried and squirm away from the unknown assailant as Castiel held him firmly.

Castiel was willing to wait for his brother’s antics out but he got very quiet out of breath call for help from Dean. “Dada...no.”

Practically fueled by those simple words Castiel glared at his brother as he told him off. “Gabe, stop he just woke up from a nap and I don’t need him all riled up by the time I put him to bed.”

“Is that Gabriel? If it sends him in here, I need some help!” Sam called from the kitchen. Castiel rolled his eyes yet lead his brother into the kitchen which smelt amazing.

“I offered to help.” Castiel reminded him defeatedly. 

“No!” Sam and Gabriel both told him with vigorous shakes of their heads.

“Geez. No one likes me Deany.” Dean pulled away to look Castiel in the eyes. 

“Like you...Dada no...cooking..” Dean told him with a final nod of his head. His small hands had come up and was holding onto Castiel’s cheeks. Castiel blushed a tiny bit but turned and kissed Dean’s palm. Gabriel focused on helping Sam out but he listened as Castiel and Dean set the table together.

“If Papa sits here and Daddy sits here...where should we put you?” Castiel asked Dean purposefully placing his and Sam’s plates with a space between them.  _ I’m not an idiot but that place does look really nice….Maybe this Gabriel person will sit next to Sam as he can be really scary being so big.  _

Dean waited for Castiel to ask him where he wanted to put Gabriel’s plate and he immediately pointed next to Sam. “Oh, and why should we have my brother seated next to Papa? Are you thinking Papa will scare him straight?”

Gabriel snickered at that one, he could not be scared straight at the Camp than he surely could not be by his brother’s husband. He found it amusing to hear his brother chatting with Dean even if the kid was not answering. Though he was left wondering how long Dean had been with them to already be calling them by familial terms.

“Now what to drink? Do you have any ideas, Dean?” Castiel asked with a small bounce causing Dean to giggle and cling closer. “We have juice, milk, and water.” Castiel offered.

_ That juice that they have is amazing. Sam..why does that feel weird?....says that it is all organic and freshly squeezed by who I don’t know. It is just the three of us here right? _

“Juice?” Dean asked with his head tilted as if he was expecting Castiel to change his mind. Instead, he just got a nod and was being carried over to the fridge where he was given the ability to choose the juice he wanted. He was surprised by how many choices they had as he had not seen anyone make any of these.

“Two hands sweetie. Sam, is Gina supposed to be back tomorrow morning?” Castiel asked as he handed Dean the watermelon juice container.  _ I can hold it just fine thank you very much...but it is a lot heavier than I thought it was. How much does he think we need!? _

“Yeah, she’ll be in around 6. She thanked us for the two days off and mumbled something about needing to speak with you about planning that charity event?” Sam trailed off as he grabbed the last steak off the burner. 

“Shoot! I forgot I had promised Ms. Moore and Ms. Cross that I would help with that event. It is raising money for the underprivileged to be able to get medical care.” Castiel informed them as he got Dean into his seat with a raised eyebrow he was able to get Iris and the belt buckled. “Iris is just going to eat next to Gabriel okay?” Dean sadly nodded and almost immediately regretted his decision as he found a plate of rice and brussel sprouts in front of him. 

“Steak?” Dean asked with giant puppy eyes.

“Give me a second Dean. I wanted to cut it up before you shoved your face full.” Castiel told him with a bop on his nose trying to distract the little a bit. _ Why did not you just cut it all up before then! Meany. _

Dean huffed and glared at his food, he would knock it over if they did not have this Gabriel person over. He actually just wanted to fuss and see if it got him the good stuff faster. Hell, he would take a hand full of cheerios over this.

“Dean buddy why don’t you try your sprouts?” Sam asked trying to avoid the tantrum Dean seemed ready to throw.

“No.” Dean huffed again this time with a bit of a wiggle to move further from the food.

“Dean.” It was a warning and Dean knew it but he really did not want any of this and why did not they get that. All he wanted was some good food. Not...not this crap. 

“No!” Dean told them again. Dean did not even notice Sam standing to unbuckle him and place him in his lap.

“You and I little man are going to go and see those rules up there. I am giving you one more chance as you’ve been going through a lot but I think a certain someone needs a reminder.” Sam stood with Dean and made his way over to the list. He was glad Dean was not cowering from telling him no or fearing that they were going to leave him because of his naughty behavior. Standing Dean before him, making sure a hand was kept on his shoulder, Sam waited for Dean to answer his new question.

“Dean, what rules have you broken? You can point them out.” Dean wanted to just tell him, no but he knew he was already in a lot of trouble. He was trying to see if they would keep him even if he misbehaved in front of a guest. With a shaky hand, Dean pointed to 2 and 4 hoping that his compliance meant less of a dressing down. 

Squatting before Dean, Sam asked, “Now you know that they were rules of this house. We all signed off on them and you know what will happen if this behavior continues. So tell me why, mister, you decided to continue with these actions.” 

Dean’s eyes were starting to tear up. It was not the worst dressing down he had ever had in fact he had heard much worse from even Chamuel so why was he crying? Trying to think of words he wanted to say but not wanting to say it out loud with Gabriel there.

“Don’t...leave me...I...I…” When his tears inhibited his ability to talk Sam took pity and pulled the boy close to him. 

“Shh sweetie. I know. I know. We were trying to do too much tonight and you did not want to be left behind while we talked with Gabriel. But silly goose, Gabe is here for you. He’s here to meet you so that you know more of your aunts and uncles before we throw you a big party. Come on I think he has a surprise for you and I think you have some apologizing to do.” Sam was glad that Dean was still afraid of losing them that he did not have to continue with a real punishment. 

“I’m...I’m sorry..dada and….and Papa and...and Gabwiel!” _ Where did my r’s go? Maybe it is just cause I’ve been crying? _

“Thank you, Dean, for that apology. I think we should all sit down and Gabriel should tell a certain nephew of his what he brought with him.” Castiel was good. He had put more specifics on what Dean needs to do before he can find out what this surprise was.

“Hey, Dean-o! Did your daddies tell you what I do for a living?” Gabriel became animated as soon as he was allowed to. That was something Gabriel did have to fight with  _ stupid father. _ When Dean shook his head no with big eyes Gabriel answered with a click of his fingers. “I run a prank and a sweet shop!” This was the best news Dean had gotten all night and the sudden appearance of pie made it even better. 

There were no more possible tantrums and Dean was infatuated with Gabriel. It seemed the quickest way to Dean’s heart was with pie. Looks like they were going to need lots more of it, too.

It was late, Sam had not checked in a long time but it was well past eleven. He did not want to move through as he stared at the lump that was Dean. Somehow the little runt had wrapped himself up in most of Sam’s side of the blanket and his hair spread out like a halo. The rest of the house was still, Gabriel had left hours ago, dinner was now chilling in the fridge. But yet Sam did not feel the siren’s pull of sleep. All he could do was stare at his son’s sleeping form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that there's a lot of conversations and not much of Gabriel but he's going to be in later chapters (I mean he brought Dean pie) chapters.


	11. Chapter 11

Castiel groaned as he rolled over and stared at the time. Glaring read letters of 6:45 that seemed to mock him. Dean was still a little lump somehow curled up on top of Sam’s pillow. He had learned at a young age to never wake a sleeping child under the age of 7. So carefully he scooted over to the side and then got out. 

For once Castiel was glad they did not have a lot of toys for Dean cause he was sure with his grogginess he would have stepped on one of them and waked Dean.  _ I should make a list of toys that are needed and allowed for Dean to have. That party has to be held within the next week before we have to go back to work. I think I might revoke my terms as the school psych cause Sam made more than enough and Dean was so little.  _

Castiel was grateful that Sam was an early riser because that meant he had time to sleep in and not have to deal with the staff and assignments. Taking the time to do his normal morning stretches as he went through his daily rituals. His body was probably in better shape than it needed to be as a psychologist but he also took assignments from his brother. 

Michael rarely sent his siblings out but Sam and Castiel were the easiest to ignore in a crowd and they were also the best at what they do. Sam got the ones Michael wanted to deal with personally off and Castiel helped put together a profile. They were not the most useful tools for Michael but Castiel and Sam were necessary for most of the company to work.

Shaking away his dark thoughts, Castiel decided he might as well get on with his day while he could. He knew that after Michael’s visit he would have to go to their gym and work on his frustrations, that was probably why he was so fit at this point. Every time he was pissed off at his older siblings he would go to the gym for as long as he needed.

Sam was glad to see that Castiel was up. He’s been up since six had already sent Gina out to the shops for ingredients and a list of chores for the day. Had not even been able to grab a nice hot shower because Gina was never late and had been there are exactly 6.

Creeping up the stairs Sam slipped past a still sleeping Dean as he grabbed a towel and entered the ensuite. Trying to quietly take a quick shower was new and difficult. Sam was not normally loud when he took showers but small things like setting the bottle down sounded like a gunshot. 

Groggily Dean became aware of his situation. The same blue canopy from the other day and the same soft clean scent each of his daddies had. There was an odd sound though coming from farther than Dean wanted to look today. He was startled when he heard a door open and tears sprung to the edge of his eyes.

“...d..dada?” Dean asked worry seeping into him when he did not hear a reply, “p..papa?”

Gina had forgotten that Sam told her not to go into their room until after he came down from his shower. She had just seen the sheets they preferred in their room sitting on the laundry machine and decided to bring it up while she went and checked the guest rooms. The scared and groggy voice of someone she had never seen before calling out for his parents had startled her.  _ Probably not as much as I startled him! Poor thing is probably just woken up to and is expecting Master Sam or Castiel to be with him. I can’t just brush it off though. I have no idea how he would react to a stranger in his parents bedroom. _

“I’m sorry little one. I’m not either of daddies. I had forgotten myself and if I woke you I sincerely regret it.” She curtsied even though she knew he had not noticed it.

“Whewe awe...dada and..and...papa?” Dean asked worried that a strange woman was in the room and called him a little one.  _ That nickname needs to die in a hole immediately.  _

“Dean? Are you okay?” Sam rushed out of the bathroom just a towel wrapped around his waist. Water is still dripping off his ...ahem...well-toned body.  _ Why oh why dear lord are all the good ones gay!  _ Gina tried to ignore her emotions as she watched Sam scooped this Dean up like he weighed nothing.

“I apologize, Master Sam, it had slipped my mind that you wished for me to wait to enter this room.” Gina again curtsied this time with her bowed and found herself worrying her lip.

“That’s quite alright Gina. We are all allowed some slip-ups most especially with the stress of Michael coming. Please attend to your other duties while I get Dean ready for the day. We should be out quickly.” Sam dismissed her already turning on his heel to their closet. Dean was still trying to figure out who this lady was and why she was in their house. Yet he was entranced by the water droplets racing down Sam’s stomach to really be bothered to ask just yet. 

Sam was distracted himself this morning normally he would have told Gina the reason why she was not allowed into a room but he was so preoccupied with Michael. He decided to just ignore his fear of Michael and get himself and Dean ready. Castiel could deal with Gina if she makes another mistake today which is highly unlikely.

“Papa?” Dean’s voice jostled him out of his thoughts. 

“Yeah, buddy?” Sam asked smiling as he saw Dean still trying to rub the sleep from his eyes.

“Who..that?” He asked a yawn working it is way out. Sam could not wait until Dean was settled more in his mindset as he was sure that he was going to be adorable.

“Gina? She’s daddy’s and my housekeeper/manager. She keeps daddy on a schedule and helps me with events for the company. Gina’s also really good at keeping this house neat and tidy so that Daddy and I can go to work.” Sam explained as he somehow managed to pull on his shirt even with Dean in his arms. Dean nodded then seemed to think of something as he pointed to himself.

“Me?” Dean tilted his head to the side.

“Well sweetie, we have not gotten to talk to Gina about you. She may only be your laundry machine or she might have a bigger role that’s all dependent on her and you. Though I still can’t get her to stop calling us Master so you’re going to probably have an interesting title once she gets to know you.” Sam explained as he grabbed a special onesie and romper his mama had given him when he was classified. Dean just nodded then snuggled closer to Sam enjoying being surrounded by the scent of their laundry soap and Sam’s shampoo.

After getting ready and hanging out with Papa and Daddy for what felt like all day until they heard a doorbell go off. Dean stiffened thinking this was it. This was the time he met Michael but his Daddies did not stand up to go and greet this person. Instead heard the door open and close than two soft voices that sounded more feminine than anything else.

When Chamuel came around the corner everyone’s ears were assaulted with Dean’s squeal of happiness. Grabby hands thrust in her direction as Dean bounced on his bottom.  _ This is going to be so much fun! Chamuel loves me and I know that Papa and Dada do too! _

Castiel had noticed the changes in Dean, though he was still more capable of speaking just having to think about it a bit more but he was closer to his headspace. The fact that Chamuel was the one who Dean was excited about made it even better.

“Well hello there.” She squatted next to Dean and hugged him close. “I’m sorry baby I can’t pick you up cause of my bad back but. I will sit here and play with you.” She cooed.

“Wow, Cammy I thought you loved us more?” Sam and Castiel both pouted at her as she zeroed in on Dean.

“I don’t remember even saying I liked you too. I’m here for Dean. Also, Cassy, I gave Gina my quiche to take into the kitchen and I’m going to stay until Meg is out of her guitar lessons.” Chamuel told them off with an eye roll. She noted that Dean had only a blue bunny and a handful of stacking cups spread out across his blanket.

It was nine-thirty when Dean started to yawn and rub his eyes. Castiel felt bad for his brother but Dean was a baby and needed lots of sleep no matter how much his brother had to meet him. After getting Dean down for his morning nap, Sam instructed Gina to wait outside around nine fifty so that Michael would not wake Dean up by ringing the bell.

Gina loved her bosses she did but she hated Michael. She had told her masters when he had lifted her skirt the one time she had been left alone with him. Sam and Castiel had both looked about ready to kill him but she knew they would not. Castiel was shackled to him due to his history and Sam owed him more than he would like to admit. So as she stood outside and worried about having to bring him in but knew that just behind that door was her masters and they cared about her and their few other staff.

_ Dean is adorable though, if I have any time today I would love to make that Cinna some of lassis and shu’bah. I’m sure he would enjoy it. He seems like a lover of food. Oh god, it is sooo freaking cold out here. Can’t wait to finish with this stupid meeting and then I’m gonna help cook a big meal for them..they’re the closest to a family that I will ever have after moving here. _

Gina was startled out of her thoughts when the long dark tinted car pulled up. She stood straighter pushing her shoulders back and brushing some imaginary wrinkles out of her uniform. Michael had already stepped out and he was glaring at the house as if he could set it on fire with a single look.

“Master Michael please come in. Masters Samuel and Castiel are inside waiting for you. Master Castiel wished for me to inform you please take caution upon entering so the little master is awake.” Gina told him as she bowed instead of her usual curtsey. Michael harrumphed after hearing that the person he was here for was asleep.

“Brother.” Castiel greeted warmly as Michael came in shrugging off his coat.

“Castiel...I would not have come if I had known the boy was asleep.” Michael told him calmly. As he almost threw his coat at Gina.

“And I would not have come if I knew you were going to be an ass,” Chamuel answered back as she leaned against the doorway. “Cassy, De is still asleep but I would suggest don’t heat up any food unless you want him to wake up too early.” 

“Why is she here?” Michael sneered at his sister, the only one that had ever truly pissed him off.

“I invited her for Dean’s sake, Michael. Please let’s move this conversation to the kitchen. Dean needs to sleep for a bit longer, poor thing was tossing and turning most of the night.” Sam cut in easily as he took the blame from Castiel. 

Michael just glared but agreed to the movement and they crowded around the breakfast table. This was where Castiel, Chamuel, and Sam filled Michael in with Dean’s past. Explained how they wanted to adopt him so that he knew they were not leaving him. Sam was just about to explain what happened to John when a whimper from the living room sent chills down his spine.

Dean startled awake sobs wracking his body as he pulled his knees close to his chest. All he remembers from the nightmare was John, his belt and the reek of alcohol. He was disorientated and worried that he was not asleep and that John was about to come lumbering around the corner. Ready to beat the big baby’s daylights out. Maybe this would be the time that Dean did not getaway. Maybe this was the time that Dean was rushed to the hospital and entered a coma. 

Slowly Dean heard through his disorientation a soft voice, “Shhh...baby….shh…” He was not able to make out the full conversation but he knew that voice. That was his daddy’s voice. He would not be here if his dream was right. His daddy would not be gently rubbing his tummy and was trying to calm Dean down.

Opening his eyes and remembering what he had been taught of calming himself Dean took a few stuttering deep breaths. He could hear someone, someone that was just as meaningful as daddy...Papa! Papa was praising him for trying to calm himself. 

“D..d….dada? P..p...papa?” Dean stuttered out reaching for Castiel once he could focus and not smell the toxic fumes of liquor and not hear John’s heavy breathing. 

“Oh thank god. Deany it was just a nightmare. Just a bad dream. You just need to take a few deep breaths and focus on my heartbeat. That’s right. Daddy’s right here. I’m not going anywhere. Shhh…” Castiel found himself rambling as he kept up the soothing rub and a slow rocking motion started.

Michael stood off on the back and even though he had not sat down with Dean seeing his brother like this. Seeing how much Castiel clearly loved the little boy that was bawling about some nightmare struck a chord. It reminded him too much of his big brother. The one he ran to after a nightmare, the one who kissed his injuries to make them better. He would not deny his little brother something that made him this happy.  _ Because I’m trying not to be Father! I will not be him. And maybe one of these days….I can make it up to you Luci. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit of a bitch but I hope it was worth the small weight. Now I might not be able to update as much as I want to in these next few weeks as I have something like 8 quizzes, 2 tests, and a paper all due in the same week (please wish me luck as I'm not sure how I'm gonna get through them). Anyways let me know what you think Michael does for a living would love to know if someone figured it out just yet.


	12. Chapter 12: The list

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a time skip since the last chapter.

“...the guest list. Sam have you decided on who you want to invite?” Castiel glanced up from his papers. Dean was seated at his feet playing with Iris and his newest stuffy (a gift from Chamuel and the kids) a bumblebee. He had dubbed it Buzzy, which is great except for when he decided to wake them up with insistent buzzing noises he’s learned he could make. 

“Yeah I was just going to invite Mama and Dad, Uncle Bobby with Jody, Jo, Ellen and Ash. I’ve been debating over inviting my sisters. They’ve been….well you know Bela and Ruby. Mama tried with those two but….I swear they were adopted from some evildoer.” Sam shook his head as he leaned over Cas to see who he had.

“Hmm...well I was going to send an invite to...Lucifer...but I don’t think...he’ll come.” Castiel was very hesitant to speak of his oldest brother. He knew that he was more than likely not going to come but it always worried him. Lucifer had despised their father, well his biological father and Castiel’s adoptive. They did not use to see it like that but after realizing how much abuse they had suffered from him. There had to be a distinction but he and mother were better than what would have happened had they stayed in the system.

“How long has it been?” Sam whispered trying to remember himself. His family had moved during fifth grade for himself. Castiel was only a few years older than him but his little brother and sisters Anna, Raziel, and Samandriel were his close friends after the move. He had never realized he lived right next door to them until he had walked home with them. 

“Too long for me to remember ...the family had been falling apart for years before the final straw broke him.” Castiel quietly explained. Staring off into space until Sam decided they need to finish the list and not focus on the dark side of their families.

“Come here little man. I need your help with this list.” Sam told Dean as he scooped him and his stuffed friends up into his lap. 

“Yeah buddy, who do you want to join us? It is a party just for you so think of some friends okay?” Castiel asked him as he glanced at his list. 

Dean’s been less communicative than normally so he was trying to figure out who he wanted. He knew that Charlie, Kevin and Meg were all listed but should he ask for his other friend. Knowing his friend he would be okay with him being a little bit...would he be okay with the family he’s with? Would be willing to spend most of a day with his gay daddies, their families and him? 

Benny’s never been homophobic for say but he also had told Dean should not crawling back to Castiel every time he so much as breathed. He did not understand what happened behind closed doors in Dean’s first house. Had never had to patch him up like Charlie had. Never held him as he cried from the nightmares as Castiel and Sam had. Benny was just another person who had failed him but...he was not ready to give him up. 

Not yet maybe if he just showed him. Showed him what Castiel and Sam did for him. How they have been the only ones to finally pick up the pieces and where not throwing them into a bin and forgetting. Not like how John, Adam, Kate, and Benny had all done. But Benny was there for him at smaller points. More than his own family had been.

“Hey buddy, if you don’t want anyone to come they don’t have to,” Sam told him as he rubbed at Dean’s back worried with how long he’s been silent.

“I...I...want to show them. But...but what if...what if they don’t wike us? Ow….ow you two?” Dean asked, shaking as he considered all of this. 

He was lost in new thoughts as soon as he got that out. Dean noticed how they had not been off to work or school. It was like they had a break and none had told him apparently. He would ask after they get the paperwork and this list out of the way.

“Oh sweetie, if you don’t think they would be okay with us then we don’t need to invite them to the party. It is a celebration for you joining our family. If you think that they need to see you healing and can deal with us then invite them but that’s all for you sweetheart.” 

Dean took that in and processed it slowly but nodded, “B...Benny.”

“Benny? He goes to our school right?” Castiel mumbled as he glanced through some paperwork he had from school. Most of them were notes from working with Dean. “Ahhh yes, Benny Lafitte. You said you knew him when you were kids.” 

“Then we should invite him.” Sam told them a twinkle in his eyes. “Now little man, Papa has to make some lunch and you’ve been yawning and inching closer to naptime for awhile. So let’s go get you ready for some rest buddy and then we’ll have lunch.” 

Kissing the top of Dean’s head Sam stood with him on his hip and Dean barely caught the look passed between Sam and Castiel. Naptime meant Daddy and Papa could talk about Dean and other adult things that Dean was not allowed to know about just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just a filler and I swear it is going to pick up soon just certain things happen before the puzzle starts breaking apart. The next couple of chapters are going to be different from normal. I hope that they are just as good as these last couple of chapters have been.


	13. No more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning there is going to be a bit of a horrible mental state in this chapter. Please please if you feel like this or are having discrimination because of similar things or what have you please find someone you trust and can talk to. I am always available to talk on my FB page under the same pseudo-name and I understand this more than I would like to explain. I was not expecting this to come out as dark as it did and I know the next chapter will also be as dark so please be safe while reading. ~Angel

The glittering silver scrawl on the cream paper stood out and was like a bullet to the heart. A reminder that life goes on without everyone being present. The invitation to Dean Michael Winchester’s (soon to be Dean Aneal Colt) adoption and classification party fluttered to the floor.

**_The invitation had been red and gold. Their parents were so proud that their babies..their eldest were classified today they had sent out the invitation months ago. Never asking once what colors I wanted just him. Ever since that day, it has always been him. Mother tried but Father....there’s a reason why all of them even adopted was named after angels._ **

**_I had come home less than enthused after getting my classification while mister perfect was bouncing off the walls with excitement. Father asked him first ignoring me in favor of him. I had to fight down the want to run crying to him or mother._ **

**_I learned how to not be who I wanted to because Father would not allow his oldest sons to be weak. Even though I already was...I was weak because I was gay...I was because I did not see myself as a boy. I was weak...I was weak. I was broken. With no spare parts to fix it._ **

**_Mother had cried because she was so happy but Father...father had gotten so mad. No matter how much I wanted to just hug him and cry out my pain I knew I could not. It killed me that day, watching my family ignore me and dote on Michael. He was an alpha something that could bring pride to the family._ **

**_Ever since that Camp...Father’s been more likely to threaten my younger siblings with it the second they so much as look at another boy. It had been tortured. Everything from religious ceremonies including exorcisms to electric shock therapy. I was told that we could fix what we were. Like being gay, or wanting to be a different gender...or being a Little was a disease. One that needed to be cured….and somehow this was the way._ **

**_I watched Gabriel hide so deep in the closet that he would not even allow himself to fall in love. He hid the fact that Chamuel and I had found him wearing Naomi’s heels once. Saying that he was practicing for an audition nothing more. The others were safe or good at hiding then Castiel._ **

**_Father had doted on him for some reason. I knew it was because Castiel though having his head in the sky was beyond intelligent. He had read college workbooks in second grade because he was bored and understood what was being explained._ **

**_Castiel had come out to me when he was in fourth grade. Telling me that he had a crush on the boy next door. And that he was going to marry the southern. It terrified me. All I could hear on repeat over and over again as I am weak, I am weak, I am broken. I could barely tell my brother to stay away from such dangerous decisions._ **

**_Father found out when he was in seventh grade. A dance was being held for valentine’s day and he had asked Sam to be his date. Father did not find out till the night of the dance when the boys were taking pictures on Sam’s front lawn._ **

**_Castiel missed school for three days after that. Chamuel had screamed at Father telling him to get his head out of his ass. She told him that she was going to call CPS on him if he ever laid a finger on Cas, me or Gabriel again. Cammy was great like that. She had been the first caregiver in the family and she took care of me when I was forced into my first few regressions. Afterward, though I always felt horrible._ **

**_I am weak, I am weak, I am broken. It was the mantra that just continued until I found out about what happened to Castiel and Gabriel a month after Cammy’s threat. I ran. I did not look back. I did not ask them what happened I just took off. I could not watch my younger brothers be destroyed by that...that monster all because I was too weak, too broken to fight him with myself._ **

**_I am weak, I am weak. I am broken…..but I am going. I am going to see my nephew who's a little of my favorite little brother and his husband. But I’m bringing the one person who keeps me happy. Who makes me...me with me. I need to fight this voice and prove that man has no presence in our lives anymore._ ** **_I am weak, I am weak, I am broken….no more._ **


	14. Announcment

While writing the new chapter for this story I got really frustrated. After deleting and rewriting the chapter upwards of 20 times I decided that I'm going to go back and rewrite the entire story. I'm keeping the important parts but I'm going to get rid of the inconsistencies (and fix my math). Due to this the story will be under hiatus until I have everything written to the point this version is at. I'm sorry that it took this long for the story to be updated and for it to be updated with this, not an actual chapter. School and life have just taken a lot out of me and I need to reset and reevaluate where I want things to go in all of my worlds this one especially. 


End file.
